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Blog: The That: BACK

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OK, I can contain myself no longer - until now i have kept CALM and QUIET about it, but here we go: OMG! THE THAT! WHOOOO!!!!

Or, to put it another way - as stated elsewhere, I had a LOVELY relaxing Saturday doing Not Much, a large chunk of which was spent watching The X Factor. I've really enjoyed this series, although it's been a bit spoilt by pretty much knowing Leona was going to WIN for the past 10 weeks, and thoroughly enjoyed the final. I liked it when Weird Ray stopped halfway through one of his BIZARRE PASTICHES and said "Ladies and Gentlemen - Westlife!" as it suddenly made him look MUCH better - and INDEED seemed to PEP even THEM up a bit, as they were finally on stage with someone who was at least ONCE HUMAN.

Foolishly, i took me a while to TWIG what was going on when Leona came on and started doing "A Million Love Songs". It's a GRATE song, and she did SUCH a lovely and DIFFERENT version of it that it was a while before I thought "Hang on... if they've just had Westlife on, does this mean... could it be?" and then LO! THE THAT WALKED AMONGST US!

As I have mentioned IN SONG and, on many occasions, IN THE PUB, I have always LOVED Take That. They are UTTERLY GRATE and anyone who says not is JUST BEING SILLY. When Gary's solo career was RUBBISH I was sorely disappointed and in a bad mood for A Good While, when Little Mark was on Celebrity Big Brother i ACTUALLY CRIED when I saw people holding signs saying "We Never Forgot!", and when they made The Other Four wait around in a hotel for AGES on that documentary waiting to see if Robbie would turn up it was all I could do to stop myself going round to the house of the documentary maker who orchestrated this unnecessary humiliation and TELLING HIM OFF. So yes, I do tend to get a bit over-excited when THE THAT are on telly, and when they came back on to do "Patience" NO HUMAN FORCE ON EARTH would have been able to drag me away from the TV.

It was ACE - yay, even BETTER than the recorded version - and I like to think that during the course of the programme THE THAT were STALKING the corridors, looking to BEAT UP Westlife for being 15th rate shitehawks trading off their legacy and GETTING IT WRONG at every turn. I also think it rather demonstrates Simon Callow's desperation to make sure Leona won, but hey! I am not complaining!

I pledged there and then to go out and buy the new album today, and LO! at lunchtime i did this very thing, and am RELIEVED to find it too is ACE. There's loads of TUNES, there's some bellowing from Howard, Little Mark squeaks around a bit, and there's a SMASHING last tune called "Wooden Boat". I read a lot of IDIOT reviews that said it was boring because it wasn't the "Hi NRG DISCO" of old Take That... well, I've GOT those old albums, and after the first album there really wasn't much of that at ALL. It strikes me that Some People have created a false image of Take That which ALLOWS them to like them. "Oh yes, Take That - it was all really cheesy and HILARIOUS and all they ever did was that video with the jelly, let's all go to FCUKING HOXTON and think it's a good idea!" when really what they were were an ACTUAL BOY BAND, with EVERYTHING that goes with it. They were never ever EVER cool in any way shape or form, and they were never lauded by The Critics, who now seem to find themselves struggling to find a way to cope with the FACT that SO very many of us LOVED them and and CHUFFED to see them back.

I mean, look at All Saints - THEY were cool and "edgy", but who cares that they're back too? Nobody actually LIKED them - and when I say "LIKED" i mean "LIKED", as in Would Like To Meet Them, Think They Are Inherently A GOOD Thing, and Would Actually Buy Their Records. The TRIUMPHANT RETURN of The That is, I would suggest, a VICTORY for all that is GOOD and PURE and HAS A CHORUS in The British Pop Music, and I personally SALUTE them!

posted 18/12/2006 by MJ Hibbett

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