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Blog: I Use The NME

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I was going about my usual Rock And Roll Lifestyle last night - washing up, making the tea, talking to the cats (all while RIDING A HARLEY DAVIDSON) - when I got a text from Mr T Pattison. "Have you seen the NME?" it asked. Well, no, not since 1999 when I realised it was just making me annoyed on a weekly basis and transferred my mid-week periodical allegiance back to 2000AD, "why?" i asked. "You're in it. Mixed."

After that we stopped texting and started talking, and I was surprised to learn that Tim STILL reads the NME, despite being at least 3 TIMES the target age. Obviously he only reads the gig guide, and of course he LEAFS through it in WHSmiths rather than actually buying it, but still, I was surprised. Anyway, he told me I was mentioned in a review of Fuzztival so this morning I went to a newsagent where I wouldn't be recognised, and picked up a copy.

The review is actually quite nice. In amongst a very jolly review of the Fuzztival as a whole there's me in the middle of the "highlights", described thus: "MJ Hibbett probably cries when he stands on a slug but his romantic (if wafer-thin) indie-pop is quite dashing nonetheless." It's good to see that NME writers are STILL contractually obliged to fill their copy with stupid remarks masquerading as cleverness (why would being upset about killing small animals a bad thing? And anyway, HOW DID HE KNOW?) but I have to admit I'm quite chuffed about that. Ten years ago I would have been leaping about SCREAMING WITH JOY to be in the NME and staying in for a fortnight waiting for the inevitable call from Mr Big at Big Records, but I'm still feeling a ROSY GLOW of pleasure.

Blimey though, i have always thought that the NME was FOR KIDS and not for me, but I didn't realise HOW MUCH this is the case. The letters page appears to be full of DRAWINGS that children have sent in, the design makes Manga cartoons look like BBC4 (i remember when it was in black and white, now it is in HEADACHE), and the list of 50 Coolest People looks, to me, like nothing more than the top deck of a bus at 4pm which, frankly, needs to CALM DOWN and STOP BEING SILLY. I was surprised to see they've still got a crossword at the back, rather than a COLOURING IN PAGE.

Still, for all my ADULT HORROR and not wanting to get TOO excited about it, I do have to confess i AM really pleased. Now, must get on - i am expecting that email from mrbig@bigrecords.com ANY MOMENT.

posted 8/11/2007 by MJ Hibbett

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Comments:

You just made me wet myself with laughter.

x
posted 11/11/2007 by sharon

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