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Blog: Dentistry And Christmas

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I'm sure anybody visiting the site is thinking "Enough about the ROCK MUSIC already, what about your TEETH?" so here's the latest DENTAL UPDATE: OW! It really HURT!

I went to see my Slightly Camp South American Lady Dentist again today, for some more cleaning out of the accumulated crap in my gums. She began our encounter by saying "Now then Mark my darling, are you ready for me to hurt you?" and she wasn't kidding - BLIMEY! A big metal SPIKE prodded VIGOROUSLY straight into your LIVING FLESH and then WRIGGLED between the teeth, causing huge PLUMES of goodness knows what to fly out of your mouth is really not a very pleasant experience. Pretty quickly i gave up looking tough and GRIPPED the chair handles, WINCED visibly, SCREWED my face up, and sweated BUCKETS of PURE FEAR. After a while she started humming nursery rhymes - it was like being in the grip of a SUPER VILLAIN! Later on she pretended to finish, then went "And one more time! AHAHAHAHAHAAA! Soon all humanity shall know my WRATH!"

OK, not the last bit, but still, as soon as she'd finished i LEAPT out of the chair and stood on the far side of the room, trying to casually say "So, should i floss more then?" whilst EDGING for the door. The nice thing was that walking home everything felt GRATE, as she had STOPPED poking my mouth with a SPIKE, but on reflection i would have sacrificed the RELIEF and just NOT gone through that ORDEAL.

When i got home again I faced another deadly onslaught that I had long dreaded coming to pass (NB I'm reading Essential Marvel Super Villain Team-Up at the moment, so please watch out for STAN LEE-isms throughout - thanks, true believer!) - saying "No!" to Christmas Gigs! As I've probably mentioned before, myself and the Gums Of My Jaw are going on a GRAND CIRCUMNAVIGATION later in the year. We're off to New York around November 20th, then San Francisco, Hawaii, New Zealand (for my brother's wedding) and finally Sinagpore before getting home for a MAD CHRISTMAS SHOPPING RUSH on December 19th. It's BRILLIANT, but it DOES mean I'm probably NOT going to get to do any Christmas Gigs (well, I'm free on the 21st and 22nd, if anybody's asking...). I'd GIRDED myself for this, but STILL it was a bit of a shock when i got TWO offers this morning, from two LOVELY people, and had to say no. I don't LIKE saying no to gigs, i always worry that word will get round and I'll never get any again, but still i shall console myself with some SURFING, also possibly some sunbathing.

Rock and Roll: it's a hard life.

posted 22/9/2005 by MJ Hibbett

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