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Songs: Who The Heck Are You?

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Have you been in a fight
With your own camera crew?
Is there a chain of boutiques
Selling your own lingerie
And a range of perfumes?

Have you been caught in bed
With a rugby league team?
Have you got drunk and said
Something you'd later regret
On daytime TV?

Well if you've not been on the telly
Or the entertainment news
Pardon me for asking
But who the heck are you?
Who the heck are you?

Have you grim tales to tell
About your battles with booze?
Are you the host of a quiz
That's on at twenty to six
On BBC2?

Have you been in a jungle
With Ant and Dec?
Or were you by chance
Taught how to dance
By Antoine Du Boek?

Well if you're not on Wikipedia
Myspace or YouTube
Pardon me for asking
But who the heck are you?
Who the heck are you?

Now look here young man!
I've saved the earth a hundred times
With my good friend Moon Horse!
Yes but have spoken of the
Secret Shame of your divorce?
I've fought alien invasions
And attacks from outer space!
And was that reported exclusively
In Hello or OK?

Decades defending humanity
Can it be that no-one knew?
I have to say, it seems that way
'Cos who the heck are you?
Who the heck are you?
Who are you?



Published by Wipe Out Music Publishing

Geoffrey Livingstone discovers, to his horror, that he isn't famous at ALL!

This song always did well from about the second verse, but I don't think it's clear enough, right at the start, what's going on. If you read the lyrics or know the song already it's pretty clear it is Celebrity Culture, but audiences always seemed to take a while to work it out. Mind you, when they did, the Antoine Du Boek rhyme nearly always made it all worthwhile!



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